Boyfriends

BOYFRIENDS....what is the definition of a boyfriend?

According to Dictionary.com a boyfriend is a frequent or favorite male companion; beau.

That definition, in my opinion, is lacking some key things. To me a boyfriend is a guy who is your best friend and who gives you butterflies in your tummy when you are with him. He is a guy that you aren't afraid to be yourself in front of. He isn't easily scared off just because you get a little crazy around "that time of the month," if you don't shave for awhile he could care less, if you enjoy sporting sweatpants and an old shirt he still thinks you are beautiful.

In my 19.75 years of life I have learned that girl should never change themselves just for a boy nor should they hide who they really are while they are with him. What is the point of spending weeks, months and even years with a guy who you can't fart in front of? Who only sees your good qualities? Who has the "edited" version of yourself?

As a younger teenage girl I never understood why none of the boys at school ever liked me. I never got asked out, never had a real date to a dance, never had a boyfriend. I would cry to my mom about it. I just didn't understand what was wrong with me. It wasn't until I came to college that I realized that having a boyfriend or having boys like me doesn't matter and that there really wasn't anything wrong with me. What matters is that I stay true to myself. If the guys don't like the real me then tough cookies. Why should I spend time trying to get a guy to like me? I could be doing much better things with that time. I shouldn't even have to be trying to get guys to like me. If the real me isn't good enough for them, then they aren't worth spending time and energy on.

After Fall Break of my freshman year of college I met Michael. At first he seemed like every other guy but for some reason I gave him a chance. I let myself get to know him and him to know me. Lets just say that I was not disappointed in the time spent with him.

Today is our 1 year anniversary. I have spent 365 days in an official relationship with him. I have stayed 100% myself around him since day 1 of those 365 days. There isn't one day that I can think of that I haven't stayed true to myself. The amazing thing is that he hasn't run away :) I haven't scared him off with my wild and loud tendencies. I can fart, burp, talk about poop, cry, scream, not shave for 5 weeks, not shower for 3 days and he still loves me the same, if not more. Sometimes he even gets sad when I shave my armpits and legs because he likes to pet the soft hair (a little creepy I know). I never thought that I would ever find a guy that would get upset that I had shaved my armpits. Prior to meeting Michael I always thought that guys were freaked out by hairy women. Not my Michael :)

Michael and I have very similar beliefs but we grew up very differently. This, I think, is how we get along so well. We agree on the important things like abortion, religion, divorce, premarital sex (or lack thereof) and the importance of family and hard work. But, we had very different experiences growing up. The different experiences makes us just different enough not to get tired of each other. Its the perfect balance.

We have also seemed to manage to have great communication. In my boyfriendless high school years I was able to see my friends relationships and learn what works and what doesn't work. This has helped me in my current relationship. I have been able to avoid doing the things that don't work and focus on doing healthy relationship things. Not blowing up at the little things, not jumping to conclusions, not getting jealous, respecting him and his beliefs, pretty much being a mature, dramaless person.

After these past 365 days I can definitely stand by the saying "everything happens for a reason." If I had dated in high school I wouldn't have been able to watch my friends and learn from their relationships. I would most likely have had pointless relationships with guys who I had to try to impress. I wouldn't be the girl I am today. I also wouldn't have met Michael, a guy who I don't have to try to be anything I'm not for.

So next time you have a "crush" on a guy make sure its on a guy who is worth your time (the same goes for the men too! Make sure the girl is worth it). Don't spend your time and energy on someone who won't appreciate or accept the real you. Don't compromise yourself for a man/woman. Don't give up who you are.